____Read The First Ten Steps for a Newly Engaged Couple
____Tell your parents, important family members, and close friends the good news! How to Announce Your Engagement
____You might also want to announce your engagement in the newspaper, on a wedding website with an email sent out to all your friends, or in the most traditional way, with mailed engagement announcements
____Have an engagement party, if you'd like
____Envision the tone of your wedding: Formal or casual? Day or evening? Religious or secular?
____Consider having a wedding theme, which will help pull together the style, look, and feel of your wedding
____Choose your wedding colors, which will add visual unity.
____Set your budget, read Ways to Save Money on Your Wedding
____Decide who will pay for the wedding. Will your parents cover it all? Can you contribute? How will expenses be split?
____Start your guest list
____Select date and time. Have backup dates in mind, in case a key element is unavailable.
____Select and reserve your ceremony and reception sites
____Hire a wedding consultant, if you're using one
____Choose and book your wedding officiant
____Choose bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers
____Meet with florists, caterers, and musicians.
____Arrange for a tasting with your caterer
xoxo
Source.
Sunday, 6 June 2010
Monday, 31 May 2010
Q
“I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."”
“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”
“True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match.”
“You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.”
“Relationships are like crystals, you don't realize how much you love it until it breaks.”
“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
The best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
I've learned in my lifetime so far that you can't help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you everyday that you just wanna be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because thats what makes your life worth going on for.
“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”
“True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match.”
“You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.”
“Relationships are like crystals, you don't realize how much you love it until it breaks.”
“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
The best relationship is the one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
I've learned in my lifetime so far that you can't help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you everyday that you just wanna be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because thats what makes your life worth going on for.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Define: Ryan
Ryan
An Irish name meaning "little king". A person worthy of the name Ryan is indeed a person of true royalty.
A handsome gentleman with a charming smile. Has the greatest respect for life and people, especially women. A great sense of humor, easy going and modest. An even greater sense of adventure. But has been known to fall to grips of an adrenaline lust, often risking himself for a thrill seek.
A person that believes in all people, until they have proven otherwise, and even then might still believe in you. His mind is amazing, slightly insane but pure genius, the only force stronger is his heart. To be loved by, is to be… Truly... Loved.
Loves a challenge, but often doesn’t often accept the reward. Gives his heart and soul to the people he cares for. He is either on top of the world smiling ear to ear or underneath it trying to lift still offering an occasional smirk.
He can be explosive so don’t shake too much. But otherwise can truly accomplish anything.
Synonymous with Perfection…. Perfection is defined by its flaws.
A great Leader, consider him yours
Wow, That was Amazing! Well, I mean I should have known, he is Ryan
Source: Urban Dictionary
An Irish name meaning "little king". A person worthy of the name Ryan is indeed a person of true royalty.
A handsome gentleman with a charming smile. Has the greatest respect for life and people, especially women. A great sense of humor, easy going and modest. An even greater sense of adventure. But has been known to fall to grips of an adrenaline lust, often risking himself for a thrill seek.
A person that believes in all people, until they have proven otherwise, and even then might still believe in you. His mind is amazing, slightly insane but pure genius, the only force stronger is his heart. To be loved by, is to be… Truly... Loved.
Loves a challenge, but often doesn’t often accept the reward. Gives his heart and soul to the people he cares for. He is either on top of the world smiling ear to ear or underneath it trying to lift still offering an occasional smirk.
He can be explosive so don’t shake too much. But otherwise can truly accomplish anything.
Synonymous with Perfection…. Perfection is defined by its flaws.
A great Leader, consider him yours
Wow, That was Amazing! Well, I mean I should have known, he is Ryan
Source: Urban Dictionary
Define: Abigail
Abigail
A super-sweet girl. Extremely gorgeous and tons of fun. When you meet one you will want to be a huge part of her life but you would have to be very lucky for it to happen. An Abigail will stay on your mind forever so you will know when you meet one.
I started dating an Abigail a while back, she is amazing!
Source: Urban Dictionary
A super-sweet girl. Extremely gorgeous and tons of fun. When you meet one you will want to be a huge part of her life but you would have to be very lucky for it to happen. An Abigail will stay on your mind forever so you will know when you meet one.
I started dating an Abigail a while back, she is amazing!
Source: Urban Dictionary
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Gain Weight and Be Healthy
Obesity is such a problem in so many places, that many people might ask, "Why would anyone want to gain weight?"
There are a few reasons why someone might wish to gain weight. Some people are naturally thin and would like to be larger. Physical illnesses can result in excessive weight loss. Eating disorders can result in massive weight loss and can, in fact, result in death from the lack of nutrition. Many elderly people have trouble preparing foods and are prone to excess weight loss as well.
Whatever your reason for wanting to gain weight, you need to do so in a healthy manner. The foods you eat must supply you with much needed calories and give you all of the nutrients and phytochemicals that your body may have been missing for a while.
In order to gain weight, you need to consume more calories than you are currently taking in every day. You really shouldn't guess how many calories you need. If you have been fighting an illness, you should speak with your doctor about your daily calorie needs. You can also use an online calculator such as MyPyramid.gov or this Nutrition Guide.
Once you know how many calories you need to aim for each day, use a food diary to track your daily intake. A food diary will help you track your calorie intake and help remind you when it is time to eat and help you be sure you are getting all of the nutrients you need. If you prefer to keep your food diary online, you can join Calorie Count. This site is free and allows you to track the calories you take in as well as the calories you burn with exercise. It also rates your daily diet's nutritional value.
Choosing Healthy Foods to Gain Weight
Remember that you need to choose healthy foods to really be healthy. This is especially important if you are recovering from an illness or have been undernourished for a long time. You want to gain weight and you want to improve your health as well.
Tips for Increasing Calories While Keeping a Healthy Diet
* Add cheese, nuts and dressings made with olive, walnut or canola oil to salads.
* Eat starchy vegetables such as potatoes and corn more often.
* Go for dried fruits or fruit juices as healthy higher calorie snacks.
* Add cream or cheese sauces to fish and baked chicken breast.
* Choose herbs and spices to increase the flavors of your food rather than relying on salt.
* Add powdered milk to soups and sauces to offer calories and protein.
* Spread Peanut butter on whole grain bread, apples or celery sticks to get a great source of protein and calories.
* Stick with healthy desserts, such as a bowl of berries with whipped topping and lot of chopped nuts.
* Spoon healthy salad dressings on sandwiches and as a dip for vegetables.
* Dip whole grain bread into olive oil, walnut oil or flax seed oil. If you don't care for much meat, add legumes such as black beans, kidney beans and pinto beans as protein sources.
* Pick dark chocolate as a treat. Dark chocolate has antioxidants that other sweets don't have.
The foods that you choose to eat are important for more than just the amount of calories they contain. The foods you eat also have to give you the nutrients you need. Keep your high-calorie foods healthy; don't add non-nutritious junk foods to your diet. Junk foods may have lots of sugar and unhealthy fats that add the calories you may want, but they don't have much to offer nutritionally. Make sure you eat foods that have good nutritional value along with those extra calories.
Carbohydrates
Your body needs carbohydrates for energy. Carbohydrates are the best fuel for your body, although your body can use fats and proteins for energy if necessary. Since you need to gain weight, you should make sure you get enough carbohydrates to fuel your body as well as add the nutrients you need. Your best sources of carbohydrates are fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Vegetables and fruits should be the cornerstone of any healthy diet. You don't want to avoid healthy green vegetables like green beans and asparagus just because they are low in calories. Green vegetables have a lot of nutritional value. You can add healthy calories to those vegetables by topping them with nutritious foods like olive oil, almonds and shredded cheese. You may also want to eat more of the starchier vegetables such as potatoes and corn. The starchy vegetables pack more calories into regular serving sizes.
You can add lots of fruit to your diet too. Fruits are packed with vitamins and phytochemicals that will boost your health. For example, instead of drinking extra sugary sodas, enjoy orange juice or other fruit juice. You will get the calories you need, plus a lot of vitamins that soda doesn't have. Snack on fresh fruits any time of day to increase your calorie intake.
Another large source of carbohydrates are the grains and cereals. The USDA suggests that you eat six to 11 servings of foods from the bread and cereal group. At least three of those servings should be from 100 percent whole grain products. Whole grains are a great source of fiber and nutrients.
Fats and Oils
Healthy fats include the essential polyunsaturated omega-3 essential fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids. You can only get these fats from your diet and they are important for healthy hair, skin, neurological function.
The omega-3 fats from fish, seafood, canola oil, flax and walnuts is usually deficient in western diets. The lack of omega-3 fatty acids creates an imbalance between the two fatty acids.
Most diets contain more than enough of the omega-6 fatty acids. Many experts believe that consuming too much of the omega-6 fatty acids along with insufficient amounts of omega-3 fatty acids is unhealthy. Omega-6 fatty acids are found in most vegetable oils like sunflower oil, safflower oil and corn oil.
Monounsaturated fats like olive oil are also good fats that will help keep your cardiovascular system healthy. These fats are found in olive oil.
You want to add healthy fats to your diet by eating lots of fish, flax seeds and nuts. Choose salad dressings, cooking oils and mayonnaise made with canola oil.
Avoid foods that contain large amounts of saturated fats and trans-fats. Red meat, processed lunch meats, hot dogs and sausage have all been connected with higher risks of diseases such as heart disease and some cancers so you should eat those meats only sparingly. Avoid fried foods as well. Fried foods such as French fries, donuts and fried fish or chicken are sources of trans fats and not a healthy way to get the calories you need.
Proteins
The protein sources you choose are important too. Your body needs protein for muscle and organ structure and for normal immune system function. Your body also uses protein to make hormones and brain chemicals called neurotransmitters.
Healthy protein sources include poultry, fish, legumes, nuts and seeds. Red meat is OK once or twice each week, but more red meat contains a lot of saturated fat. A diet high in saturated fat has been linked to cardiovascular disease. Processed meats like hot dogs, sausages, bologna and other lunch meats are high in calories, but also associated with higher risks of cancer.
Dietary Supplements
Taking a multivitamin with extra calcium may be beneficial for many people. "Weight gaining" supplements are available that can add extra calories to your diet. These supplements usually have a lot of protein and carbohydrates. These types of weight gaining supplements are fine, however if you are recovering from an illness, it is good to speak with your doctor first to be sure the extra protein is OK.
Portions Sizes and Meals
You can either add more calories to you diet by eating more meals per day, by adding snacks and by increasing your portion sizes. If a large meal makes you feel stuffed and uncomfortable, eat small portions, but eat more often. You can add healthy snacks through out the day.
Exercise to Gain Weight
Exercise is important for good health and the right type of exercise can help you gain muscle, which will give you more body mass. Weight-lifting exercises that are designed to build muscle should be included with your weight-gaining diet and perhaps aerobic exercise should be cut back a bit. For more on exercise to gain muscle, read How to Build Muscle.
Source:
University of Michigan Health System. "Healthy Weight Gain." Adult Health Advisor 2005, 4.
Source.
There are a few reasons why someone might wish to gain weight. Some people are naturally thin and would like to be larger. Physical illnesses can result in excessive weight loss. Eating disorders can result in massive weight loss and can, in fact, result in death from the lack of nutrition. Many elderly people have trouble preparing foods and are prone to excess weight loss as well.
Whatever your reason for wanting to gain weight, you need to do so in a healthy manner. The foods you eat must supply you with much needed calories and give you all of the nutrients and phytochemicals that your body may have been missing for a while.
In order to gain weight, you need to consume more calories than you are currently taking in every day. You really shouldn't guess how many calories you need. If you have been fighting an illness, you should speak with your doctor about your daily calorie needs. You can also use an online calculator such as MyPyramid.gov or this Nutrition Guide.
Once you know how many calories you need to aim for each day, use a food diary to track your daily intake. A food diary will help you track your calorie intake and help remind you when it is time to eat and help you be sure you are getting all of the nutrients you need. If you prefer to keep your food diary online, you can join Calorie Count. This site is free and allows you to track the calories you take in as well as the calories you burn with exercise. It also rates your daily diet's nutritional value.
Choosing Healthy Foods to Gain Weight
Remember that you need to choose healthy foods to really be healthy. This is especially important if you are recovering from an illness or have been undernourished for a long time. You want to gain weight and you want to improve your health as well.
Tips for Increasing Calories While Keeping a Healthy Diet
* Add cheese, nuts and dressings made with olive, walnut or canola oil to salads.
* Eat starchy vegetables such as potatoes and corn more often.
* Go for dried fruits or fruit juices as healthy higher calorie snacks.
* Add cream or cheese sauces to fish and baked chicken breast.
* Choose herbs and spices to increase the flavors of your food rather than relying on salt.
* Add powdered milk to soups and sauces to offer calories and protein.
* Spread Peanut butter on whole grain bread, apples or celery sticks to get a great source of protein and calories.
* Stick with healthy desserts, such as a bowl of berries with whipped topping and lot of chopped nuts.
* Spoon healthy salad dressings on sandwiches and as a dip for vegetables.
* Dip whole grain bread into olive oil, walnut oil or flax seed oil. If you don't care for much meat, add legumes such as black beans, kidney beans and pinto beans as protein sources.
* Pick dark chocolate as a treat. Dark chocolate has antioxidants that other sweets don't have.
The foods that you choose to eat are important for more than just the amount of calories they contain. The foods you eat also have to give you the nutrients you need. Keep your high-calorie foods healthy; don't add non-nutritious junk foods to your diet. Junk foods may have lots of sugar and unhealthy fats that add the calories you may want, but they don't have much to offer nutritionally. Make sure you eat foods that have good nutritional value along with those extra calories.
Carbohydrates
Your body needs carbohydrates for energy. Carbohydrates are the best fuel for your body, although your body can use fats and proteins for energy if necessary. Since you need to gain weight, you should make sure you get enough carbohydrates to fuel your body as well as add the nutrients you need. Your best sources of carbohydrates are fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Vegetables and fruits should be the cornerstone of any healthy diet. You don't want to avoid healthy green vegetables like green beans and asparagus just because they are low in calories. Green vegetables have a lot of nutritional value. You can add healthy calories to those vegetables by topping them with nutritious foods like olive oil, almonds and shredded cheese. You may also want to eat more of the starchier vegetables such as potatoes and corn. The starchy vegetables pack more calories into regular serving sizes.
You can add lots of fruit to your diet too. Fruits are packed with vitamins and phytochemicals that will boost your health. For example, instead of drinking extra sugary sodas, enjoy orange juice or other fruit juice. You will get the calories you need, plus a lot of vitamins that soda doesn't have. Snack on fresh fruits any time of day to increase your calorie intake.
Another large source of carbohydrates are the grains and cereals. The USDA suggests that you eat six to 11 servings of foods from the bread and cereal group. At least three of those servings should be from 100 percent whole grain products. Whole grains are a great source of fiber and nutrients.
Fats and Oils
Healthy fats include the essential polyunsaturated omega-3 essential fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids. You can only get these fats from your diet and they are important for healthy hair, skin, neurological function.
The omega-3 fats from fish, seafood, canola oil, flax and walnuts is usually deficient in western diets. The lack of omega-3 fatty acids creates an imbalance between the two fatty acids.
Most diets contain more than enough of the omega-6 fatty acids. Many experts believe that consuming too much of the omega-6 fatty acids along with insufficient amounts of omega-3 fatty acids is unhealthy. Omega-6 fatty acids are found in most vegetable oils like sunflower oil, safflower oil and corn oil.
Monounsaturated fats like olive oil are also good fats that will help keep your cardiovascular system healthy. These fats are found in olive oil.
You want to add healthy fats to your diet by eating lots of fish, flax seeds and nuts. Choose salad dressings, cooking oils and mayonnaise made with canola oil.
Avoid foods that contain large amounts of saturated fats and trans-fats. Red meat, processed lunch meats, hot dogs and sausage have all been connected with higher risks of diseases such as heart disease and some cancers so you should eat those meats only sparingly. Avoid fried foods as well. Fried foods such as French fries, donuts and fried fish or chicken are sources of trans fats and not a healthy way to get the calories you need.
Proteins
The protein sources you choose are important too. Your body needs protein for muscle and organ structure and for normal immune system function. Your body also uses protein to make hormones and brain chemicals called neurotransmitters.
Healthy protein sources include poultry, fish, legumes, nuts and seeds. Red meat is OK once or twice each week, but more red meat contains a lot of saturated fat. A diet high in saturated fat has been linked to cardiovascular disease. Processed meats like hot dogs, sausages, bologna and other lunch meats are high in calories, but also associated with higher risks of cancer.
Dietary Supplements
Taking a multivitamin with extra calcium may be beneficial for many people. "Weight gaining" supplements are available that can add extra calories to your diet. These supplements usually have a lot of protein and carbohydrates. These types of weight gaining supplements are fine, however if you are recovering from an illness, it is good to speak with your doctor first to be sure the extra protein is OK.
Portions Sizes and Meals
You can either add more calories to you diet by eating more meals per day, by adding snacks and by increasing your portion sizes. If a large meal makes you feel stuffed and uncomfortable, eat small portions, but eat more often. You can add healthy snacks through out the day.
Exercise to Gain Weight
Exercise is important for good health and the right type of exercise can help you gain muscle, which will give you more body mass. Weight-lifting exercises that are designed to build muscle should be included with your weight-gaining diet and perhaps aerobic exercise should be cut back a bit. For more on exercise to gain muscle, read How to Build Muscle.
Source:
University of Michigan Health System. "Healthy Weight Gain." Adult Health Advisor 2005, 4.
Source.
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
5 things NOT to do in a long distance relationship
Here is a list of 5 things that you shouldn’t do in a long distance relationship (or any relationship for that matter). If you start to see your partner doing these things its time to have a serious chat.
1. Too much negativity
Negativity can come from others or from ourselves, but either way negativity and relationships don’t mix. Try to stay positive. Long distance relationship can and do work.
2. Dwindling Enthusiasm
Keeping the fire burning constantly can be difficult in a long distance relationship. However, a little technology and some creative thinking can go a long way. If you do start to feel the passion eroding, and you are longing for your partner less and less take some time to figure out if the relationship is still what you want.
3. Constant Investigations or Suspicions
Always wondering where your partner is? Concerned they are cheating? Most likely they are not. And unfounded accusations can really erode a relationship fast. If distrust seems to be getting worse, you need to determine if it is your own insecurities or if you really have cause for concern.
4. Going for a Temporary Replacement
Letting someone else into your life as a temporary replacement for your loved one who’s not physically around is (in the words of Pretty Woman) big mistake. Big. Huge. Yes, it can happen unintentionally, but if it continues it turns into one large step away from your partner.
5. Frequent Misinterpretation of Each Other
Couples who are next to each others sometimes misinterpret one another’s thoughts, words or actions. These misinterpretations just get worse with distance. Misinterpretations are, once in a while, pretty normal. But if it happens each time that you get to communicate with one another, it can mean the two of you are starting to grow apart.
xxx
SOURCE
1. Too much negativity
Negativity can come from others or from ourselves, but either way negativity and relationships don’t mix. Try to stay positive. Long distance relationship can and do work.
2. Dwindling Enthusiasm
Keeping the fire burning constantly can be difficult in a long distance relationship. However, a little technology and some creative thinking can go a long way. If you do start to feel the passion eroding, and you are longing for your partner less and less take some time to figure out if the relationship is still what you want.
3. Constant Investigations or Suspicions
Always wondering where your partner is? Concerned they are cheating? Most likely they are not. And unfounded accusations can really erode a relationship fast. If distrust seems to be getting worse, you need to determine if it is your own insecurities or if you really have cause for concern.
4. Going for a Temporary Replacement
Letting someone else into your life as a temporary replacement for your loved one who’s not physically around is (in the words of Pretty Woman) big mistake. Big. Huge. Yes, it can happen unintentionally, but if it continues it turns into one large step away from your partner.
5. Frequent Misinterpretation of Each Other
Couples who are next to each others sometimes misinterpret one another’s thoughts, words or actions. These misinterpretations just get worse with distance. Misinterpretations are, once in a while, pretty normal. But if it happens each time that you get to communicate with one another, it can mean the two of you are starting to grow apart.
xxx
SOURCE
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
10 Rules to Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Nearly everyone has experienced a long distance relationship at some point in his life. Most of us have failed to maintain it and have broken up, even though this may have been a promising relationship. Why is that so? What are the common reasons to break up in those long distance relationships and how can you make them work?
To begin with, I was there myself. A good friend of mine gave my e-mail address to his wife’s best friend. Shortly after that she dropped me a line. So we got to know each other. By e-mail.
The great thing about e-mail communication is, there are no games. At least there shouldn’t be. You can present yourself as the person you are. You can truly open up.
So we fell in love just for the persons we were. No masks, no shields. But still 2000 miles apart.
Of course the critical moment was when we first met. Would the picture we had about each other synchronize with the outer picture? If you’ve been dishonest, then you will fail at this point. Luckily it worked out for us.
Long distance relationships can occur for a number of reasons. Here are some of the common scenarios:
* You’ve met in a chat room or at an online personal site and realized in the end that you were several states far away from each other.
* You recently graduated college and have moved back to your home town and your boyfriend or girlfriend has continued to stay in the college town.
* At work you’ve been promoted and sent to a new city for an important program and will be in that location for several months.
You must have a true interest in each other. I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before the spacial separation or you’ve met each other through chat/e-mail. I’m afraid a physical attraction is not enough. That’s why most summer vacation affairs fail in the end.
Here are the rules that made my personal long distance relationship work:
1. Have A Relationship Plan For The Future
Know where you are heading. Have a light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you want to accomplish in you partnership? Have goals and a time frame when you want to be together. It is very important that you both have a hope to live for.
I think that this is the most common reason why some long distance relationships don’t work: they don’t have a plan, they just hope it will turn out right, that a miracle is going to happen. Certainly this also means you have to make sacrifices. At least one of you.
Realize that you most likely only have three options: she moves to him, he moves to her or both move to another place. Start talking about it as soon as you realize that you want to be together. The biggest mistake you can make is to hush it up.
2. Meet Regularly
Try to see each other every month at least once. Plan this ahead and include some activities, like town visits, museums, a weekend in a fancy hotel, etc. Make it a celebration, an explosion, something very special!
Soon this short meetings will be something you long for, something that you will align your life at.
Remember, you only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a person. You don’t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love.
So do everything you can to meet at least once a month.
3. Use Modern Technologies To Communicate
You need all the help you can get, so why not using the glorious benefits of a modern communication world:
* Get an e-mail account if you do not have one and write at least one e-mail to each other every day
* Use Skype or something similar to talk to each other for free. Believe me, it’s awesome watching a movie together while simultaneously talking on Skype
* Use Instant Messaging (I recommend the Yahoo Messenger)
* Use digital photographs and videos of your daily activities and send them via e-mail
* Use a webcam (this I can highly recommend)
Using all this electronic stuff will make it much easier for you both. Imagine how it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months.
4. Give Yourselves A Free Day
This one-sided communication - I mean with no physical interaction - can sometimes frustrate very intensively. It is possible that this frustration then comes to conflicts between you as an outlet for it. This could lead to misunderstandings that are very difficult to resolve per e-mail. Believe me one thing, you do not want to have a fight over e-mail or phone.
I then found it very helpful to insert a day or two without any communication. What then happens is that you miss each other very intensively and you usually find yourselves at a more higher level than you were before.
If the only way of interaction between you is canceled for a day or two, you will either progress or doubt. In any case you will know where you stand. This is also a good way to test your long distance relationship.
5. Write Extensive And Intimate E-mails
Open yourself up completely. Write about your inner state, what you are feeling, what you dream about, what you hope for. As a rule of guidance: describe in your e-mails your inner state and in your phone-calls your outer state. Writing is more intense than verbal communication and allows you to be more intimate. That will create a tighter bond between you.
The most important thing here is: be honest! Don’t pretend you are someone you are not. Don’t put yourself in a better light. Long distance relationships only have a chance if both are completely honest and congruent.
6. Send A Written Letter Once In A While
Do not underestimate the marvelous feeling, when you look in your letter box and find a letter from your love, open it and see his/her writing. This is a pleasure we often forget about in this modern times. Not to mention that it’s far more romantic.
7. Beware Of Jealousy
Jealousy is a very dangerous thing and can threaten every long distance relationship. Jealousy is commonly a lack of trust and understanding. It very often reveals insecurities and bad experiences in other relationships.
The keyword here is simply: trust. You cannot control and observe your partner, you only can have faith in your relationship and in the things you build together in the times you had. Hold on to that and never give in to that green eyed monster.
Jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is! Listen to Shakespeare:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
8. Avoid Dangerous “Situations”
As mentioned before, trust is essential. If you completely trust your partner and also have faith in your relationship, you can pretty much do what you want without endangering your relation. However, I nevertheless recommend avoiding some specific situations. Of course it depends on the person, but I would not date the opposite sex alone, or go to wild parties. Simply avoid temptations that could distract you from each other.
Better safe than sorry!
9. Never Loose Faith
Watch out, you will meet a lot of skepticism. People will tell you that long distance relationships never work, especially those who have had negative experiences about it. Don’t listen to them. People tend to negate things they failed on.
Listen to me: it can definitely work, but you both have to believe it.
10. Always Stay Positive
Always assume that your partner loves you and cares about you. Never assume anything negative, whether you read something in his/her e-mails or you disliked how he/she made a weird comment on something. Don’t interpret to much in it.
The problem with non-face-to-face communication is the lack of facial expression. It is so easy to misinterpret but unfortunately much harder to trust and stay positive.
I assure you, if something was wrong, you will know it.
As you can see, I’m definitely positive about long distance relationships. They expose ongoing life lessons, and prove that love, loyalty, and faith are the vital ingredients to a lasting relationship.
xxx
SOURCE
To begin with, I was there myself. A good friend of mine gave my e-mail address to his wife’s best friend. Shortly after that she dropped me a line. So we got to know each other. By e-mail.
The great thing about e-mail communication is, there are no games. At least there shouldn’t be. You can present yourself as the person you are. You can truly open up.
So we fell in love just for the persons we were. No masks, no shields. But still 2000 miles apart.
Of course the critical moment was when we first met. Would the picture we had about each other synchronize with the outer picture? If you’ve been dishonest, then you will fail at this point. Luckily it worked out for us.
Long distance relationships can occur for a number of reasons. Here are some of the common scenarios:
* You’ve met in a chat room or at an online personal site and realized in the end that you were several states far away from each other.
* You recently graduated college and have moved back to your home town and your boyfriend or girlfriend has continued to stay in the college town.
* At work you’ve been promoted and sent to a new city for an important program and will be in that location for several months.
You must have a true interest in each other. I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before the spacial separation or you’ve met each other through chat/e-mail. I’m afraid a physical attraction is not enough. That’s why most summer vacation affairs fail in the end.
Here are the rules that made my personal long distance relationship work:
1. Have A Relationship Plan For The Future
Know where you are heading. Have a light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you want to accomplish in you partnership? Have goals and a time frame when you want to be together. It is very important that you both have a hope to live for.
I think that this is the most common reason why some long distance relationships don’t work: they don’t have a plan, they just hope it will turn out right, that a miracle is going to happen. Certainly this also means you have to make sacrifices. At least one of you.
Realize that you most likely only have three options: she moves to him, he moves to her or both move to another place. Start talking about it as soon as you realize that you want to be together. The biggest mistake you can make is to hush it up.
2. Meet Regularly
Try to see each other every month at least once. Plan this ahead and include some activities, like town visits, museums, a weekend in a fancy hotel, etc. Make it a celebration, an explosion, something very special!
Soon this short meetings will be something you long for, something that you will align your life at.
Remember, you only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a person. You don’t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love.
So do everything you can to meet at least once a month.
3. Use Modern Technologies To Communicate
You need all the help you can get, so why not using the glorious benefits of a modern communication world:
* Get an e-mail account if you do not have one and write at least one e-mail to each other every day
* Use Skype or something similar to talk to each other for free. Believe me, it’s awesome watching a movie together while simultaneously talking on Skype
* Use Instant Messaging (I recommend the Yahoo Messenger)
* Use digital photographs and videos of your daily activities and send them via e-mail
* Use a webcam (this I can highly recommend)
Using all this electronic stuff will make it much easier for you both. Imagine how it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months.
4. Give Yourselves A Free Day
This one-sided communication - I mean with no physical interaction - can sometimes frustrate very intensively. It is possible that this frustration then comes to conflicts between you as an outlet for it. This could lead to misunderstandings that are very difficult to resolve per e-mail. Believe me one thing, you do not want to have a fight over e-mail or phone.
I then found it very helpful to insert a day or two without any communication. What then happens is that you miss each other very intensively and you usually find yourselves at a more higher level than you were before.
If the only way of interaction between you is canceled for a day or two, you will either progress or doubt. In any case you will know where you stand. This is also a good way to test your long distance relationship.
5. Write Extensive And Intimate E-mails
Open yourself up completely. Write about your inner state, what you are feeling, what you dream about, what you hope for. As a rule of guidance: describe in your e-mails your inner state and in your phone-calls your outer state. Writing is more intense than verbal communication and allows you to be more intimate. That will create a tighter bond between you.
The most important thing here is: be honest! Don’t pretend you are someone you are not. Don’t put yourself in a better light. Long distance relationships only have a chance if both are completely honest and congruent.
6. Send A Written Letter Once In A While
Do not underestimate the marvelous feeling, when you look in your letter box and find a letter from your love, open it and see his/her writing. This is a pleasure we often forget about in this modern times. Not to mention that it’s far more romantic.
7. Beware Of Jealousy
Jealousy is a very dangerous thing and can threaten every long distance relationship. Jealousy is commonly a lack of trust and understanding. It very often reveals insecurities and bad experiences in other relationships.
The keyword here is simply: trust. You cannot control and observe your partner, you only can have faith in your relationship and in the things you build together in the times you had. Hold on to that and never give in to that green eyed monster.
Jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is! Listen to Shakespeare:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger
But, O, what damned minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
8. Avoid Dangerous “Situations”
As mentioned before, trust is essential. If you completely trust your partner and also have faith in your relationship, you can pretty much do what you want without endangering your relation. However, I nevertheless recommend avoiding some specific situations. Of course it depends on the person, but I would not date the opposite sex alone, or go to wild parties. Simply avoid temptations that could distract you from each other.
Better safe than sorry!
9. Never Loose Faith
Watch out, you will meet a lot of skepticism. People will tell you that long distance relationships never work, especially those who have had negative experiences about it. Don’t listen to them. People tend to negate things they failed on.
Listen to me: it can definitely work, but you both have to believe it.
10. Always Stay Positive
Always assume that your partner loves you and cares about you. Never assume anything negative, whether you read something in his/her e-mails or you disliked how he/she made a weird comment on something. Don’t interpret to much in it.
The problem with non-face-to-face communication is the lack of facial expression. It is so easy to misinterpret but unfortunately much harder to trust and stay positive.
I assure you, if something was wrong, you will know it.
As you can see, I’m definitely positive about long distance relationships. They expose ongoing life lessons, and prove that love, loyalty, and faith are the vital ingredients to a lasting relationship.
xxx
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